February 4th, 2009
First of all, I want to say that Groundhog Day makes me a little nuts. When I was a kid we lived in an old farmhouse beside a field and there was a groundhog in the middle of that field whom we called Mr. Wiggles. (Anyone my age may remember the jello commercials.) Now I am not doing groundhog research here today and I can’t tell you whether groundhogs are true hibernators or not, but I can tell you Mr. Wiggles never, ever, came out of his hole on Groundhog Day, come sun, snow, rain, or shadow, not for hell or high water.
Now you can talk all you like about Punxsatawney Phil, but first of all, no-one ever heard of him when I was a kid, and secondly, how is some groundhog in Punxsatawney, Pa, going to predict winter for the rest of us all over the place? I mean, if there’s a cloud over Phil, early spring right there where Phil is, and it’s sunny 17 feet away, then 17 feet away there’s going to be 6 more weeks of winter? Puh-leez! Thirdly, they actually reach into a box and pull Phil out and make a prognostication as to whether he saw his shadow or not! I mean, how bogus is that? And lastly, and here’s the kicker, February 2nd, Groundhog Day, is the exact half-way point of winter! So no matter what the groundhog does or does not do, Phil, Mr. Wiggles, or your own local groundhog, on February 2nd you have 6.5 more weeks of winter! Yes, sometimes it gets warm earlier, and sometimes it snows in the spring, and it’s different depending on where you live and so on.
Sorry, I just had to go there. I was born on February 4th, that’s right, that would be Today, two days after Groundhog Day, and I’ve been hearing those groundhog jokes all my life! But here’s the good news about February 2nd (and the other good news about February 4th) – it’s half-way through winter!
By the beginning of February, the days (here in the Northern Hemisphere) are as long as they are in late October. I can’t say I’ve ever been specifically diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but I’ve read about it and it sounds like what I experience when the days are shorter. I am more fatigued, depressed, get sick more easily, get more Migraines. Of course, being indoors in a heated house also has its part – dealing with dry, recirculated air.
Who else deals with this? I use a number of strategies to make it a better winter for myself. I’ll share the ones that have helped me but I’d love to hear from any of you who have others.
Has anyone used one of those light boxes they prescribe to give you exposure to more daylight-type light in the house? I haven’t, but I’ve used full-spectrum light-bulbs (not fluorescent!) and I find they help me. Here are some of my tricks:
There are reasons why our ancestors held celebrations in the winter to remind them that light, warmth and life would return to the earth. Groundhog Day actually falls on the date of one such ancient celebration – Candlemas. I too rejoice in the returning of the sun! But I’m keeping the warm stuff out for 6 more weeks of winter.
– Megan
Groundhog image courtesy of Matt MacGillivray; paper whites image courtesy of Bethany L. King.
Tags: Candlemas, Groundhog Day, migraine, Punxsatawney Phil, Seasonal Affective Disorder
Posted in Managing, Rant, Tips & Techniques | Comments (0)
January 15th, 2009
Here’s a New Year’s Resolution for you: Tell the truth about your disease this year! How many of us are walking around in a state of denial, not having told the truth to ourselves about our disease, or about what we need to do to manage it? How many of us are in a state of conflict, hurt feelings, or even losing relationships with the people in our lives who don’t know the truth about our disease either?
What do I mean by telling the truth? It may be that many of us would be better off if we didn’t have to work, or care of our families, if someone else would care for us, or pay the bills, but we just don’t live in that reality. Telling the truth doesn’t mean you have to deny your reality, or not deal with it. Quite the contrary, your reality may be that you have to work, and care for your family, but you can’t care for your home to the standards you have always had, or you can’t work the kind of hours you once expected of yourself, or you can’t micro-manage your family members but have to allow them to make mistakes and muddle through. There may be many things that you have to let slide, and telling the truth may involve reminding yourself that if you exacerbate your disease through overwork, lack of rest, not caring for yourself, then none of the other things you value will be possible. For many of us, the truth is we must put ourselves first, and that isn’t some kind of nasty self-indulgence, it’s not “No I can’t take care of my child I have to watch tv and eat these bon-bons,” it’s “I must care for my well-being or there will be none left of me to care for others.” It means put on your oxygen mask first on the air-plane or you will both be dead!
Denial is what has us clean one more thing instead of resting, or ignore the migraine twinges instead of taking the medication to treat early. Denial is what has us try to be super-women and men, has us go on hosting huge parties in order to not disappoint the family, or do whatever we believe is expected of us, at the expense of our well-being. Denial is lying to ourselves about our own disease.
This may sound harsh, and believe me if you find yourself in a state of denial you have all my sympathy. I find myself there from time to time as well. It is human, and it will happen. The key is to practice telling the truth, to have it become a habit. You may not want to answer “How are you?” with complete truth in every situation – there may be reasons not to do that at work or in some social situations. But practice telling the truth about who you are to yourself, and to someone! Come here and tell it to me, in a comment. Sign up for the e-course The Six Keys to Manage Your Life With Migraine (in the upper right corner of the page) and tell it to me there. Register for a relaxation or support teleclass and talk about it there. Go to a Migraine Forum and talk about it. Find a friend or two you can tell. Write it in a journal, or in your own blog. But practice telling the truth.
And remember that there are people in your life who need to know the truth about your disease as well. You may want to practice telling that truth to yourself first, but your spouse or significant other, your parents or children or siblings or best friends, need to know some basics.
Here’s a link to a great letter Teri Robert wrote to share with the people in your life to help them understand Migraine disease. I can’t promise you that every person in your life will understand and support you. If you can keep the conversation about your disease and asking for their help and understanding, and keep any hurt or accusations about past actions out of it, most people are more receptive. I can promise you, though, that it is important to take this step. More hurt feelings and lost relationships come about from not trying, from failing to communicate, from wishing, hoping and expecting the other person to understand. There’s no way around communicating, scary though that may be. If I can support you, please let me know.
– Megan
Heads together image courtesy of Vera & Jean-Christophe; conversation image courtesy of John Wigham.
Tags: Communicating, denial, Migraine disease, self care, telling the truth
Posted in Communicating, Musings, Tips & Techniques | Comments (2)
January 14th, 2009
Kudos to Diana Lee who got her act together in the New Year to get the Blog Carnival out right on time – yours truly is still adjusting to a new schedule and not even getting over here to post very often, so you won’t see an entry from me in this month’s carnival! But it’s a great topic – What Keeps You Going When You’re Suffering. So pleaase head on over to Somebody Heal Me for the January edition of the Headache & Migraine Disease Blog Carnival for some great reading to keep you going. I will be heading over myself for some reads on such topics as yawning, sleeping it off, revenge, and new Migraine drugs, as well as other coping strategies! See you there!
Generally speaking, a blog carnival is a collection of links to a variety of a blogs on a central topic. The Headache & Migraine Disease Blog Carnival has been created to provide both headache and migraine disease patients and people who blog about headache disorders with unique opportunities to share ideas on topics of particular interest and importance to us. Visit the link to this month’s carnival for a collection of informative entries on the theme of What Keeps You Going When You’re Suffering.
– Megan
Tags: headache, Migraine disease, Weblogs
Posted in Managing, Tips & Techniques, Weblogs | Comments (0)
January 4th, 2009
Happy New Year, one and all! I have been hearing much fervent relief at the passing of 2008 and perhaps more hope than usual at the launch of 2009. Between the economic woes of the past year, the death throes of the worst American presidency in recent history, and the ongoing struggles with pain and illness of so many of my compatriots, we are all very much ready for something new. And at this time of year, we express that desire and hope through resolutions.
As a coach, I’ve always done a lot of thinking and talking about resolutions. I have mixed feelings about them. One way of looking at a resolution is that it’s a goal without an action plan. We tend to make a list of the things we know we should be doing, or that we greatly desire to do, that would improve our lives, our world, or the lives of those around us. For most of us, having made the resolution, we hope that good intentions and will-power will carry us through. Without actually taking the time to create a plan, to see what might be in the way of changing from our current actions or habits to the ones we want to develop, to anticipate hurdles and strategize a way around them, good intentions and will-power will get us where they usually get us. Maybe to February 1st. If we’re lucky.
So resolutions are great if you craft them into goals, and goals are only worth more than the paper they’re written on if they are big and inspiring but also grounded in reality, with strategies mapped out to get you from here to there. And that’s what a coach helps you do, craft the goal, make the plan, and then stick to it!
The other difference between a resolution and a goal, is that the resolution is about action we can take, and the goal is about what we hope to accomplish by it. I’ll express a goal right here:
In 2009, to see my Migraine frequency go down to under 3 per month.
This is a pretty audacious goal, from someone who had 6 – 9 Migraines per month in 2008. The other thing that’s audacious about it is that I cannot control my Migraine frequency – directly. I can only influence it. So I need to resolve:
Why am I listing all this out? Because these are the things I can actually do something about! The goal itself, directly, I can do nothing about! If I only focus there, I just get discouraged, or I waste my time in fantasy. It’s the same for my business goals – I need to make more money, to keep paying the mortgage and send a kid to college next year. If I focus there, all I will do is panic. If I focus on the actions that I can take that will connect me to the right people, get me exposure, eventually bring me work, the goal may be obtainable.
So reach for the stars. Make big goals. Put them in front of you and don’t forget them. But for your resolutions, keep your feet on the ground. Find small concrete steps that you know you can do. And make a plan to do them. If you need some help with that plan, email me from my contact page. Make it a great 2009 – let’s see out the decade in style!
– Megan
Conch shell image courtesy of Joshua Davis, wall jump image courtesy of Alex Roberts.
Tags: chronic illness, goals, life coaching, managing life with migraine, migraine frequency, New Year's resolutions
Posted in Managing, Tips & Techniques | Comments (2)
December 1st, 2008
How was your Thanksgiving? We just got back from a very relaxed five day trip to my sister’s house, where the extended family descends for an annual Thanksgiving extravaganza. There are a lot of reasons to love it. My sister and brother-in-law and nephews are warm and welcoming and they pull out all the stops to accommodate everyone. Danny and I bake pies and cook some side dishes and load them in the car with ourselves, our kids and our luggage, maybe some fruit and wine, and off we go. We don’t have to clean the house (not that it couldn’t use it). We get a mini-vacation from the worries of our daily life. Their house is set up so that even with a crowd, the upstairs rooms are pretty sound-proof, so if a Migraineur needs a quiet retreat, there is one.
I am very thankful at Thanksgiving time, for the loving and accepting, funny, intelligent and interesting family I have, the fun times and wonderful food we share. I have many blessings to count. I have never managed to travel to this particular fest, however, without at least a little pang of wishing it were different. I wish I could host an event like this at my house. I wish that I could host any event of more than a handful of people for more than a few hours, without getting a Migraine. I wish that my home was orderly, organized and clean to the point that preparing for overnight guests wasn’t such a huge task.
The internet and the newspapers right now are full of articles on how to have happy holidays on a shoe-string, or how to enjoy the holidays without the stress, and I don’t need to re-invent the wheel. Over at My Migraine Connection you can read Teri Robert’s interview with Marcia Cross on Holiday Parties with Migraines. Coming up on December 8, the December Headache & Migraine Blog Carnival will be posted at Somebody Heal Me on the topic of “Maximizing Your Enjoyment of the Holiday Season,” and there will be lots of good reading on the topic, I’m sure! (If you’d like to submit a post for the carnival, the deadline is the midnight Friday, December 5th, and you can submit your post at this link at Somebody Heal Me.)
What I’m here to say is – the holidays don’t have to hurt your head. Like me, you may find there are things you have to give up. I conceded Thanksgiving to my sister years ago, since she loves doing it so much, but for most of the past 6 years we have hosted a big holiday weekend at our house around New Year’s. We won’t be doing that this year. Having that many people in my house, and that much noise, for an extended period of time, is a whole series of Migraine triggers for me. I end up missing a chunk of the celebration, I’m not much of a hostess, my family feels bad for me, and I’m in pain that often lasts days after everyone leaves.
I was surprised to find myself in tears when I told everyone we would not be hosting this year. It’s not like it was unexpected! The truth is that it is hard to give up on something we want to do. What we can do is to look below the thing itself, and see what is important to us, and how else we can express that.
When you look at your holiday season, think about what is important to you, and how you can express that without hurting your head. One holiday party may be much better than five. You may not have to wear yourself out to cook huge meals – choose one or two things that are important to you or your loved ones. The quantity of toys will mean less to your kids than the time you take to stop and play with them.
I gave up trying to be Martha Stewart years ago, but as my Migraines became more frequent I have had to give up more. So where we used to make six kinds of Christmas cookies, maybe we will make two. Where we used to have 18 people for a holiday weekend with a big dinner, we will ask a smaller group to join us for just dinner on Christmas day. Where we used to climb on the roof and hang lights, we light a few windows. In our family we have always celebrated Hannukah and Christmas, since we have a mixed background, but several years ago we became clear that our kids didn’t need gifts every night of Hannukah and under the tree and in their stockings! We buy less, and light the candles to remember our heritage and hope in the darkness, rather than as a reason for eight more gifts.
Festivity is great fun, but it can also be addicting. Advertising tells us to do more, buy more. Many people find that however much they spend and do, they still fall short of the “perfect” holiday they imagine in their mind’s eye. As Migraineurs, we need to go easy on ourselves. Whether or not you’re hurting financially this season, you don’t need the added stress of worrying about whether you have bought or done enough. A little can go a long way. What is most important to you about the holidays? Is it time with loved ones? An expression of peace and hope? Find ways to express what is important to you, that don’t hurt your head. Remember to get regular sleep, eat regularly, avoid your Migraine triggers, and enjoy the joys of the season!
Peace!
– Megan
Sliced turkey image coutesy of Roland Tanglao; advent candles image courtesy of Per Ola Wiberg; menorah image courtesy of Andrew Ratto.
Tags: Christmas, Hannukah, holidays, managing life with migraine, Migraine triggers, Migraines, Stress, Thanksgiving
Posted in Managing, Musings, Tips & Techniques, Weblogs | Comments (3)
November 20th, 2008
On Tuesday I had the great good fun to be interviewed by Coach Marla Martindale of A Winning Life with RSD, along with her co-host Chris Tatevosian, author of Life Interrupted – It’s Not All About Me. Marla’s weekly radio show Winning Life Through Pain is on every Tuesday and deals with living well with chronic illness, and other health related topics. We talked about managing life with Migraine, Migraine myths and tips for coping, communicating about our illness, and how to calm down our nervous systems, as well as discovering a lot of similarities in dealing with other neurological illnesses like RSD and MS. Oh and there were a few references to baked bees and general silliness. You can discover that for yourself, if you like. Give a listen.
(Oh, a warning, it’s a big file – 27.4 MB, so you if you’d rather not deal with loading it, go to Winning Life Through Pain to listen.)
– Megan
Tags: chronic illness, migraine, neurological illness, radio, Weblogs
Posted in Advocacy, Communicating, Tips & Techniques, Weblogs | Comments (0)
November 17th, 2008
Coach Marla of A Winning Life with RSD asked me to be on her internet radio show tomorrow (Tuesday, November 14) at Winning Life Through Pain. Please come give a listen; we’ll be on at 2:00 Eastern, 1:00 Central, 12:00 Mountain, 11:00 Pacific, talking about living with Migraine and other chronic illnesses. You can click on the link above to get to Blog Talk Radio and listen to the radio show. Hope your heads are treating you well today.
– Megan Oltman
Microphone image courtesy of Matthew Keefe.
Tags: blog radio, chronic illness, migraine, reflex sympathetic dystrophy
Posted in Communicating, Tips & Techniques, Weblogs | Comments (0)
November 13th, 2008
BREESE – Breathe RElax Easy SmilE
(Yes, I know that’s not the right way to spell breeze.) I use the analogy of a breeze to learn to relax and disengage mental and emotional energy. In his book Breaking the Headache Cycle, neurologist Ian Livingstone, M.D. explains how our nervous systems need both a reasonable amount of stress, building the tone of the nervous system and keeping us growing, and a reasonable amount of relaxation, allowing the nervous system to rest and recover, and calm down.
Migraineurs are not necessarily more keyed up or more stressed than others (despite lingering myths about a “Migraine personality”), but our nervous systems are more sensitive to stimuli, and the higher our stress load, the lower our resistance to Migraine triggers. Dr. Livingstone cites research showing that Migraine frequency and severity can be reduced an average of 40% through regular practice of relaxation. A study at the University of Rajasthan, India, found that “Three months of intensive yoga practice—one hour, five days per week—curbs frequency and intensity of migraines by 70 percent,” according to Liz Somes in Psychology Today.
Imagine a soft gentle breeze blowing through our minds and bodies, carrying our stress away. We can generate the breeze through:
Breathe – We rarely breathe fully, but to breathe fully induces relaxation. In particular, we hold our inspiration and do not breathe out fully. One deep breathing practice is to breathe in deeply, to a count of three, and then breathe out completely, to a count of five.
Shortly after I started working with Dr. Livingstone I took on breathing like this for 10 – 15 minutes a day, and also any time I noticed myself getting anxious, tense or upset. Later that month I was driving to the airport for a business trip, cutting it rather close for my departure time, a situation which makes me very agitated. I noticed my stress level rising and the tension increasing in my hands, arms, shoulders, and neck. A few minutes later I had a tell-tale pinpoint of pain over my right temple. I began the 3 in – 5 out breathing practice and felt myself calming down. By the time I got to the airport half an hour later my head pain was gone.
RElax – Relaxation is a completely different state for our nervous systems than excitation. We need both states to be healthy. But many of us do not consciously and deliberately relax very often. Relaxation can occur in sleep, in meditation or visualization, in enjoyable conversation with a friend or loved one, in exercise or sexual activity, in reading or listening to music. Some of the activities we think of as relaxing – some computer or video games, for instance, actually excite us and raise our stress levels. I took on a daily practice of spending 15 minutes doing deep breathing, meditation and visualizations. Within a couple of months my migraine frequency was cut in half. When I stopped doing it regularly, within a couple of months the migraines had inched back up again.
Easy – give it up, let go, don’t worry! Stress and anxiety are real, physiological states. But they are also occurring in our minds, where we can notice them. I have taken on a practice of detachment with love, creative disengagement, stepping down. This becomes easier with a regular practice of meditation, where I can notice the things I need to let go of and picture myself dropping them.
SmilE – cultivate gratitude, humor and joy. This doesn’t mean you can’t gripe and vent when needed – but keep a commitment to do it in order to clear the bad stuff and regain your own optimism. Without gratitude, humor and joy, life is not worth living. When we smile it actually affects us physiologically, emotionally and mentally. Maybe you don’t want to smile – but try it anyway. You may say, “Megan, this just the power of positive thinking!” I won’t argue with you, but I will suggest that most of us spend most of our time submitting to the power of negative thinking! So try this for a change. Watch, read or listen to a gentle comedy. Look at something beautiful. Talk to someone you love. Play with a child. Find something to smile about.
If you practice generating the breeze, you can calm your system and reduce your Migraines. If you want to make it easier to practice, join us for the initial Free my Brain relaxation teleclasses. I will be leading a group in learning and practicing yoga breathing and full body relaxation, and guided visualization, in two 35 minute teleclasses, coming up on December 1st and 4th. Click here to read more or to register for the BREESE teleclasses.
– Megan Oltman
Grass in the breeze image courtesy of Andrew Storms.
Tags: breathing, Ian Livingstone, M.D., meditation, Migraine management, relaxation, yoga
Posted in Managing, Tips & Techniques | Comments (7)
October 27th, 2008
As you know from my recent posts, the costs of health care and our national tragedy of a broken health insurance system have been hitting me where I live lately. Of course I’m far from alone in this. In the current economic crisis, people are finding it harder than ever to afford the medications and health care they need. In a study published on October 14, the National Headache Foundation (NHF) surveyed 270 headache sufferers on line recently, and found that more than three quarters of the respondents said they have cut back financially, and those cuts have impacted their headache treatment:
Migraineurs are not alone in this, of course, the New York Times reported last week that prescription drug sales are down, and people are cutting back on life saving medications for many medical conditions. The NHF’s survey also found that people were cutting back on certain types of food purchases, and were not sleeping as well and feeling more stress due to their economic situation. Sleep disturbances, anxiety and dietary changes were all cited as triggering increased headaches. Delaying or skipping filling prescriptions, or using over the counter medications as a substitute is a serious concern. It’s easy for me to say to you – don’t cut back on prescription medications! Find something else to cut back on! If the choice is between snack foods and prescriptions, definitely give up the snack foods. Unfortunately, many of my prescriptions have a $50 co-pay. I could save a lot more money delaying a $50 co-pay than going without a $3.89 box of donuts. Sometimes we are faced with real, terrible choices. Sometimes we have to choose what to do without, and there may be no truly right answer. I will not presume to advise you here – you must make your own choice. Some economic insecurity is very real. Some people lose their jobs, can’t get loans, lose their investments, don’t have health insurance, and have to make terrible choices. Please ask yourself whether you really need to forgo this expense, or whether it is just anxiety and fear for the future that is making your decision for you. The NHF has some suggestions for ways to afford your prescriptions:
Beyond the nuts and bolts of paying for the prescriptions, though, you need ways to manage your stress and anxiety. I suggest snuggling a kitty if you can. NHF has some good advice, picking up on some familiar themes here at Free my Brain, they suggest you practice relaxation techniques and include exercise in your daily routine. Suzanne Simons, NHF Executive Director, concludes with a great piece of advice: “remember that the financial turmoil we are currently experiencing is temporary. …[T]he situation will get better and keeping a positive outlook may help lessen the emotional and physical impact of these volatile economic times.” Remember that economies are affected by attitudes. Refuse to give in to despair. Do whatever you can to make things better. And get out and vote for change!
– Megan Oltman
Hand on head image courtesy of Mr. Thomas/Christopher.
Tags: economy, migraine, National Headache Foundation, prescription drugs, relaxation
Posted in Communicating, Current Affairs, Managing, Medicine, Tips & Techniques | Comments (3)
September 5th, 2008
Good looks? Great personalities? Multi-million dollar incomes? Well…. Actually I was talking about
shades. Great big stunner shades. Jackie O glasses. Bright light being one of the biggest Migraine triggers, a good pair of dark sunglasses is a must for a Migraineur. Many of us really can’t be outside without them. Some of us even wear them inside. I don’t find that necessary most of the time, but during an active Migraine attack I’ve been known to wear them indoors.
What should you look for in a good pair of sunglasses? Do:
I also have a Don’t for you:
Why not? A year ago I got transitions lenses on my regular glasses. Here they are, barely darkened in the
bright light on the deck (notice the squinting!):
They never get as dark as most of us will need. They won’t darken at all unless there is UV light shining directly on them, which means that if your car has UV blocking glass (as most do these days), they will never darken in the car, no matter how bright the sun and glare you have coming into your eyes. The optician was very annoyed that the opthomologist had recommended them!
I bought a good pair of prescription sunglasses this year, since I can’t manage contact lenses (another set of Migraine triggers involved for me). They were about 5 times more expensive than any sunglasses I’ve ever bought, but they should last 5 years. As long as I don’t lose them! And look how glamorous they make me.
– Megan Oltman
I hear Hollywood calling!
Tags: glare, Migraine trigger, sunglasses, sunshine
Posted in Tips & Techniques | Comments (3)
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