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Archive for the ‘Silliness’ Category

this time it doesn’t even rhyme

August 30th, 2008

Who’s that trying to remove my brain?

Crack my skull and scoop it out like an egg?
Maybe they’re trying to get me to leave –
If they whack me on the temple a few more times
I might leave town, you never know.

Who’s that trying to remove my brain?
last week they tried grapefruit spoons –
serrated edges scraped my skull – is it sectioned inside like a fruit?

This week blunt instruments are in vogue
I wish they’d learn some anger management.

I wish they’d stop trying to remove my brain.
What did I ever do to them?
Maybe they don’t like silly poetry
Made up by a migraine-addled red-head.
They’re over-reacting, I swear.

There must be someone trying to remove my brain

I know they’re trying to remove my brain.
It hurts like they’re trying to remove my brain –
crack my skull with a nutcracker and pick out the meat
couldn’t just be my own neurons going nuts…
Could it?

– Megan

Coming to you from Migraine Central

Soft-boiled egg image courtesy of Sharon Mollerus; grapefruit image courtesy of x-eyedblonde; walnut image courtesy of Masayoshi Sekimura.

Tags: brain, migraine, pain, poetry
Posted in Silliness | Comments (2)

Silly Headache Rhymes – Frigraine Edition

August 1st, 2008

Along on Friday afternoon, I started seeing red.

A Migraine came to visit and it smacked me in the head.
It whacked me on the temple; it threw me for a loop.
I almost tossed my cookies as I staggered on the stoop.
I should have slept this morning; I should have slept last night.
I should have been born perfect, and then I could live right!

– Megan Oltman

Frigraine is what I call those sneaky Friday afternoon/evening Migraines – they always come when I’m pushing to get work completed for the week.  Not getting enough sleep Thursday night doesn’t help either.

Migraine hamster image courtesy of Anita Martinz.

Tags: migraine, poetry
Posted in Silliness | Comments (2)

Silly Headache Rhymes

July 16th, 2008

In honor of the brilliantly funny Migraine Chick who periodically brings us her Bad Migraine Haiku, and maybe just because I am fundamentally a silly person, I bring you installment One of Silly Headache Rhymes:

My head is not too spiffy,
it’s really kinda iffy,
I’d trade it in a jiffy
if I had an extra head!

– Megan Oltman

Two-headed image courtesy of 1024greenstreet.

Tags: headache, migraine, poetry
Posted in Silliness | Comments (2)

Weird Migraine Trigger Winners

May 9th, 2008

It was a tough call, but our judges Kerrie of The Daily Headache and Diana of Somebody Heal Me have selected our winners in the Weirdest Migraine Triggers Ever contest (with yours truly called in as a
tie-breaker).

Remember, these triggers were all weird enough to beat my pouring-down-rain-with-wiper-arm-scratching-windshield trigger!

And a drumroll please, the winners are:

1st Place to Koryn for the Crayon Dilemma (note – no gold crayon used in photo):

The weirdest trigger that I’ve ever came across was one of my step aunts. Since
a very young age, the gold crayon in her crayon box would induce a migraine. No
other gold colored other stuff, or real gold its self does anything, but just
the gold crayon. Strangeness.  All my step aunt had to do was look at her gold
crayon. Poor thing couldn’t color with it at all. Her mom ended up going through
her crayon box each year when they bought her new ones for school and take the
gold crayon out. Her teacher watched in class if the projects used crayons. Very
strange trigger.

2nd place to MJ (of Rhymes with Migraine) for the Exhaust Fan Mystery:

The last apartment DBF and I lived in was a studio, with only one large-ish
window that opened onto a courtyard. Our apartment was wedged into the corner,
which meant we had hardly any air circulation at all, especially in the summer.
This particular apartment building also had a high turnover rate among tenants,
so our neighbors changed relatively frequently.

About two months before we moved out of that apartment, I discovered a new trigger. One afternoon after work, DBF and I were minding our own business when all of a sudden this stench, an unbelievable (and unidentifiable) stench came – not wafting – but pumping into our only window. I had a migraine within seconds, as my eyes teared up and I looked desperately to
DBF, begging him to close the window. Mind you, this was the summer and our apartment did not have A/C. Neither of us could stand this stench though so he closed the window without complaint.

We complained to the leasing office the very next day, but of course when they came to check it out, no cause could be found, as there was no trace of the stench.

Unfortunately for both of us, every evening after work, like clockwork, this stench would be pumped into our apartment and we’d have to close our window. We quickly became wise to the stench’s ways and closed the window when we came home from work. We continued to complain to the leasing office, telling them we had to leave our only window closed, but they were mostly useless. They claimed the woman in the apartment below us had left for vacation
without cleaning her fridge, and her food had spoiled, which had caused the stench. But the stench continued after this problem had been cleaned up, so I was skeptical of this explanation.

Fortunately, DBF and I both have backgrounds in architecture, so we decided to investigate the source of this stench for ourselves. We noticed the exhaust vent for our downstairs neighbor’s
apartment was directly outside our window. Ah ha! At least once a day, the vent fan inside this apartment would cycle on, venting the apartment, and pumping the stench into our window. The stench would disappear again when the fan cycled off.

That same week we figured this out (this had been going on well over a month now) we dragged the apartment manager into the courtyard. We pointed out the exhaust vent and told her our theory. She got her maintenance guy and went to the woman’s apartment – which, apparently, smelled so bad that our apartment manager was gagging in the hallway. (She got no sympathy from me!) Here’s where the story gets even better. Our apartment manager, after discovering the source of the problem we had been complaining about for over a month, started to
politely request that the woman in the stinky apartment clean up her mess. The
woman did not clean up her mess. The manager was unwilling to do anything other
than knock on the woman’s door, so DBF finally taped the exhaust vent closed so
we could open our window again.

We found out later that this stench was cat funk. This awful woman
refused to clean up after her poor cat, and had been keeping its filthy
litterbox under the exhaust fan. So, I’ve now added “cat funk from rude and
filthy neighbor” to my list of triggers.

Third Place to Deborah (of Weathering Migraine Storms)  for the Dehydrate-Rehydrate-Run Conundrum (note – you can read the entire story at Weathering Migraine Storms at the link above – I have excerpted it here):

I have found a unique little trigger I gave myself while I was trying to alleviate the woes of the migraine blues. I found myself going round and round in a battle of “Catch 22” with fluids.

A word of caution – if you are in the midst of migraine and are looking to
hydrate or re-hydrate, be very cautious of the ingredients in your bottled
fluids. If they contain “sucralose” or “sucrose syrup” you may think twice before drinking twice. Why? Your body just doesn’t absorb them thar ingredients, thus you just poo them in liquid-like form, rapidly, if you continue to drink and drink and drink them.

Case in point, Moi: The first week of the month, I end up at infusion with the monster. I’m the usual squinting, “headachy” nauseaous self. (for lack of words right now), I have two bottlesof said syrupy water with me. oh yummo. Start infusion a little later. drink drink. Notice after a few days, and oh four bottles of the stuff a day, lots of diarrhea. hmmm, sometimes that
happens with migraine.

Two weeks go by, OH, WAIT! I had also started Melatonin to get some MUCH-needed
sleep. Whew, almost forgot that. so anyhoo, I’m sleeping, I’m drinking more of the water because the weather was actually getting pretty nice here. The sun was, whoa, shining, and, AND, the weather was warm. I don’t care much for water, it makes me gag, and gagging is a precursor for barfing, which will in itself is just gross, so I like the taste of the lemony syrupy
vitamin water that I was drinking. Plus, I felt I was getting all kinds of oober benifits with the added B vitamins. blah blah blah. drink more tastey syrupy water.

In the meantime, I’m noticing a need to, well, go to the “office” a little more often. than usual. Me poo has started to um loosten. By the end of the week, loosten had come to a full-on explosion. Every few hours. Which, naturally made me drink more. Didn’t want to DEHYDRATE! Each time I’d eat, my food would slide into home within 1 1/2 hours. I was running like A-rod,
faster, faster, faster each time. God forbid if I was in public!!!

Naturally, another storm hit me in the skull. The more I “liquidated my assets,” the more I drank. For fear of becoming dehydrated, it’s all I could do, drink more of my yummy water; and it hit me – like the brick that hit my head, maybe it’s the vitamins in the water doing it!! So I took myself off the water for a week.

But I was still having the. problem. So I thought, maybe the Melatonin?? I took myself off that. We decided, maybe there was something else going on; we called my internist. They had me in that day, did all kinds of blood work, and I had to (give a sample), to which I apologized for! Oh the questions the questions I was asked. When the blood work came back ok, Deb and
I were talking about the water; and I read to her the ingredients – AHA! It was the sucralose. I cannot absorb it so my body just – gets rid of it and everything else with it. I’ll say.

*(By the way, I have been informed that Glaceau Vitamin Water, pictured on the truck above, contains no sucralose or aspartame.  I didn’t mean to implicate them, I just love a pretty picture.)

And an Honorable Mention to Laura for a lengthy list of triggers, including the Antihistamine-Pollen Paradox:

• jalepenos
• sun/ heat
• too much sleep, not enough
• Alcohol (especially red wine)
• salt
• cheese
• salami/ preserved meats*
• change in air pressure
• change in altitude <- i hate that one!
• soups*
• Chinese food*
• stress letdown
• pms
• Claritin <-AGH!
• dehydration

I tell you, I live in an area where the pollen is horrible and most allergy meds
give me a severe migraine.  It’s miserable.

*(Little editorial note – wondering if the starred items all have MSG in common?  MSG is a pretty common trigger.)

Thanks to the judges and all the entrants for playing along.  And dear readers, if you have a weird trigger to share, you can leave it in the comments below.

For more about triggers, and how to avoid them, come join the discussion: Migraine Management Coaching: Know and Reduce Your Triggers.  For more on Managing your Life with Migraine, register for our e-course in the upper right corner of this page.

– Megan Oltman

Now don’t get trigger-happy!

Crayon Image courtesy of Ed Schipol, Exhaust Fan image courtesy of cito/John, Vitamin Water image courtesy of Wendy Seltzer, Bee image courtesy of Adrian Campfield

Tags: Dehydration, Managing, migraine, Odors, Pollen, Trigger
Posted in Managing, Silliness, Weblogs | Comments (5)

Get your Weirdest Migraine Trigger Stories in! And then read poetry…

April 30th, 2008

Hello dear readers.  I’ve been a bit scarce lately due to 1) a very sick computer (it’s having a relapse), and 2) a weekend training course which left me exhausted and migrainey.  I have complained at length elsewhere about sitting in a flourescent lighted interior room all weekend with noisy people and not enough sleep, so I won’t go there… (Oops, looks like I did!)  Suffice it to say that managing life with Migraine disease includes handling interruptions, and the past week or so has been a string of interruptions!

But here I am to remind you about getting your weirdest Migraine trigger ever stories in.  Let’s keep it simple – leave them in the comments to this post.  Since my computer access is still unreliable, I’m extending the deadline to Friday, May 2.  But if you’ve just been waiting to send them in today, go ahead, send them in!  I have gotten a few doozies – so go for it!  The contest will be judged by the fabulous Diana Lee of Somebody Heal Me and the splendid Kerrie Smyres of The Daily Headache.  Winners will be announced – hmm – sometime next week!  Stay tuned.

For some good reading in the meantime, please read the winning entries in the 2008 Putting Our Heads Together Migraine and Headache Poetry Contest at My Migraine Connection.  While you’re at it – read the non-winning entries, too!

I hope you’re enjoying a pain-free day.  It seems, for now, the little guys with grapefruit spoons have stopped trying to scrape my brain off my skull.  Phew!

– Megan

Tags: contest, managing life with migraine, Migraine trigger, poetry
Posted in Silliness, Weblogs | Comments (1)

The Weirdest Migraine Trigger Ever

April 1st, 2008

It’s April Fool’s Day, but this is not a hoax.  I do want to have a little fun though.  I had a very weird event trigger a migraine the other day.  I’m going to tell you about mine, but I’m also going to ask you to tell me about your weirdest migraine trigger ever.   Then we’ll have a contest – I’m working on recruiting the judges right now.  I will publish our judges’ picks for the 3 weirdest migraine triggers on Free my Brain.  And there will be prizes!  Maybe we can’t stop the pain, but at least we can have a little fun in the meantime.

Here’s my weird trigger:

What is that a picture of?  Well, I had to drive my daughter to an appointment in the evening in the pouring rain.  We’re talking buckets here!  And suddenly as I drove along the passenger-side windshield wiper started flapping loose.  It was flailing and rotating so wildly it looked like it would smack into and break the other wiper.  The little bracket that holds the blade to the arm had broken, as I discovered when I stepped out in a huge puddle to try to fix the thing.  I fiddled with it in the pouring rain and the already broken bracket snapped in two.  So I took the blade off and got back in the car.

Now you may be wondering about the Triple A sticker on the windshield – why didn’t I just call them?  We live in a somewhat rural area and it takes them a long time to get to us.  We had this appointment to get to.  So I started up the car and watched this little metal hook at the end of the wiper arm passing back and forth – it wasn’t contacting the windshield so I figured we were okay.

I took my daughter to her appointment and on the way back the metal hook started scratching the windshield.  A faint squeak at first, getting louder and louder, until it became this loud squealing scratching noise.  After about 5 minutes I could see a scratch in the windshield where the hook was rubbing against it.  We’re driving along, it’s a few miles to the nearest gas station.  I’m worrying about my windshield breaking.  It’s dark and it’s pouring.  And there’s this hideous loud noise.  I can’t think and the headache is starting.

My brilliant daughter suggests I tie one of her socks around the hook.  I stop and find an old ragged piece of towel in the back of the car.  On the roof rack were some pieces of twine from when the Christmas tree was on top (let’s hear it for bad housekeeping – a tidy person would not have had these useful items!).  I ripped a piece of towel, tied it on with twine and finished it up with the Scotch tape that was in my purse for some reason.  That’s what you see in the picture, the brilliant solution that saved my windshield.  And enabled me to get all the way home before the migraine hit!

Now we all know that migraine was probably triggered by loud noise and bad weather, with a hefty dose of stress pushing it over the edge.  But when I ask you for your weirdest migraine trigger ever, I’m not
asking for the technical official triggers.  I want your stories of a pile of weird circumstances or coincidences that came together to trigger a migraine.  Want to play?

Just send me an email by April 30th with your weirdest migraine trigger story through Contact page.  Winning entries will be posted in early May.  Happy Spring!

– Megan Oltman
Hoping all your storms are on the outside of your head.

Tags: Migraine triggers
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What can I do with my hair?

March 15th, 2008

A frivolous topic, I know.  Can you tell I’m laying around in post-drome, not quite well enough to be up and doing but well enough to be bored?  This is dangerously close to a self-indulgent pop culture style mag question, but please indulge me!  When you’re a red head you spend your whole life with people commenting on your hair, so I guess it becomes an obsession.  What is the right hair length for a migraineur?  Is there such a thing?

The photo I most often use professionally and for an avatar online is about 4 years old.  I’m going to have to change it soon for a more recent one.  But lots of my online friends know me looking like this:

Now it’s not that I don’t look like this, but I grew my hair out over the past 3 years and now it’s quite long, almost as long as when I was a hippy-dippy teenager!  I also stopped coloring my hair, at least for now, I’ve got white wings on the red at the sides.  Hey if it’s good enough for Bonnie Raitt, it’s good enough for me!  The problem is, my hair weighs a ton!  And it’s hot on my neck.  I like to wear it up, or braided, or back, in hot weather.  But if I have a migraine, or I’m in post-drome, my scalp is tender and I can’t stand the pressure of putting it up.  Even the weight of it pulling on my scalp when it’s down makes me nuts.

So now I look like this (a not very great picture of me last spring break) but my hair has gotten even longer.  I hate to chop it all off again after spending 3 years growing it back.  I’m also pushing 50 here and I’m not sure the face holds up to a short haircut any more!

So, what’s a migraineur to do?  I don’t want this disease to dictate anything else in my life!  But days Iike today I sure want to chop it all off.  It hurts to even think about washing it.

Please leave a comment and let me know how you deal with your hair!

Megan Oltman

Migraineur Fashion Central?

By the way, Mom says I should cut it!

Tags: hairstyle, Migraine triggers, scalp sensitivity
Posted in Managing, Silliness | Comments (5)

This is snot about migraine…

February 9th, 2008

Okay, I just had to share this.  I’m up past my bed time, getting punchy.  In the continuing quest for relief from my recurrent sinus infections we are considering whether surgery to remove nasal polyps might be helpful.  Apparently there is a frequent correlation between seasonal allergies or asthma (I’ve got the allergies, not the asthma), aspirin allergy (which I have) and nasal polyps.  My doctor wants me to research this connection, known as Samter’s Triad.

So I’m on pubmed.gov reading these medical studies all written in medical jargon and all very serious… So here’s one about “Medical and surgical considerations in patients with Samter’s triad” and they’re going on about doing “functional endoscopic sinus surgery (FESS)” and then the patients were CT scanned and they measured the FESS results by a test called (I kid you not) the “Sino-Nasal Outcome Test (SNOT-20).”

So if I go through with this – you can ask me “hey, how’d your SNOT test come out?”  “We were hoping for a better outcome – but all we got was the same old SNOT…”

Who said doctors have no sense of humor?

– Megan

Gotta laugh, otherwise we’d cry.

Tags: endoscopic sinus surgery, nasal polyps, Samter's Triad, sinus infection
Posted in Medicine, Silliness | Comments (0)

I Got Them Old Migraine Blues Again, Mama!

January 25th, 2008

Yesterday the beast sank its claws into my brain,

Oh yes yesterday the beast sank its claws into my brain,

It may be awhile ‘fore I can shake ‘im loose again.

I got them old migraine blues again, mama!

I keep trying and trying to live a healthy life,

Yeah I just keep on trying to live a healthy life,

And I’ve got to keep on fighting, against the pain and strife,

Got them old Migraine blues again!

I’m trying to earn a living, just trying to make some bread,

Yes I got to earn a living, my kids do need that bread,

But it’s hard to keep on working with that beast perched on my head.

Is there light down the tunnel, this ain’t no funhouse ride!

Want that light down the tunnel, cause this ain’t no funhouse ride –

The light sure wants to blind me, but I’m tryin’ to let that slide.

Today I’m just post-droming and the beast has slunk away

Yes I think now I’m post-droming and the beast has slunk away

I’m trying to take it easy so he don’t come back today

Got them old migraine blues again, Mama!

If anybody wants to set this to music, let me know!  Post-drome, if you’re not familiar, is the part of the migraine after the headache is past.  For me it’s weak and shaky and my head’s a little tender.  Lately I can’t always tell if it’s post-drome or just a let-up in the pain.   But it’s a better way to start the day than in the midst of the head pain.

– Megan
Post-droming and hoping, to keep the beast away

claws image courtesy of delta407

Tags: blues, migraine, post-drome
Posted in Music, Silliness | Comments (2)