This is my journal of living with Migraine and other chronic illness. Trying to live well, to live a purposeful life, with chronic illness, since I don't get the choice of living one without it!
October 1st, 2009
Does this sound at all familiar to you? This is me, talking to me, inside my head:
So I stayed in and didn’t take the triptan – and about 10 my head was pounding and I felt nauseous. At that point I took the triptan, and some anti-nausea meds, and tried to go to sleep. I slept badly, with pain in my head nearly all night. I kept waking and checking the clock to see if 2 hours had gone by so I could take another triptan. Then I slept a bit longer and woke after 2, still in lots of pain, and took the second dose. Slept fitfully and around 5 noticed that the pain had let up a good bit. Woke with the alarm at 7.
So I called the court and told them I was ill and could not come in. I went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later, to this:
I’m not sure they ever shut up, those voices in our heads. But here I am, several hours later, head still hurting, trying to make what I can of the day. Just a Migraineur, intermittently impaired, working around it the best I can.
– Megan
Tags: internal dialogue, migraine, self care, self-doubt, triptans
Posted in Musings | Comments (14)
September 30th, 2009
I may have mentioned that lately I have been writing articles for Health Central’s My Migraine Connection on legal topics related to Migraine, as well as answering some of the questions that readers ask on the site. A reader came on recently and reported that her driving privileges had come under supervision by her state’s Motor Vehicle Commission (MVC) because she had self-reported that she had frequent Migraines. The MVC was considering whether to suspend her license. She was asking what to do. This sounded like a nightmare to me; I was really distressed for her, so I did some research. In the first place I discovered, not too surprisingly, that her state’s MVC had broad powers to supervise, suspend, retest or otherwise question the driving of anyone they suspected might have any kind of medical condition that could make them an unsafe driver. Researching further, I learned that just about every state has given similar powers to its MVC.
My suggestion was that she get a statement from her doctor that she knows the signs of a Migraine and does not drive when she has one, and that she consult an attorney. She came back later and reported that her MVC had taken her medical documentation, made her retake the road test, but that they had not suspended or restricted her license.
I did some more research and wrote two articles based on it, one called Migraines and Driving Don’t Mix – reviewing cases which have found people driving under the influence of pain killers (legally prescribed for Migraines) to be DUI, and other cases which found people driving with a Migraine (not with medications) were not DUI. I did stress that Migraines themselves impair us – they slow our reflexes and reaction time, interfere with cognitive function, aura obscures our vision, the pain and nausea distract us. I even went so far as to say I wouldn’t be surprised to see a case somewhere in the future where someone had a Migraine, caused an accident, hurt someone, and was held liable or criminally responsible.
In the second article, called Migraines and Our Drivers License, I reviewed the Motor Vehicle laws which set up medical review of driving privileges, trying to make people aware that we could have our licenses reviewed or suspended if Migraines impact our driving and the MVC finds out about it!
It’s been an interesting few weeks for me on the inter-tubes – I did not make myself very popular with some Migraineurs over all this! One group of readers thought I was being condescending. On one site someone ranted about how if cell-phone talking, lane-changing speeding morons should be allowed to drive, why should Migraineurs be singled out? I was called “militant” and I’m not some people’s favorite person. Several people asked me to tell them how they are supposed to get to work, function, etc…
I think I learned a lesson about my writing style, and I’m going to do my best to be more chatty and down to earth when I’m delivering hard news. I think that’s what this was – a case of kill the messenger. I’m not the Migraines & driving police (or the anything police, for that matter). We’re all going to have to use our own judgment. I just thought it was important for people to know 1) that Migraines impair us, sometimes even when we don’t feel like they do; 2) that people have been convicted of DUI even taking legally prescribed medications; and 3) that right or wrong, our condition is being scrutinized by Motor Vehicle Commissions.
Last night I dropped my son at his music lesson and went to the supermarket. Near the end of my time in the market I was very hungry and jittery, and I started to get sensitive to light, an early warning sign for me of a Migraine coming. My son was across a divided highway from me, needing to be picked up, and I had a week’s worth of groceries in a cart. So I had choices to make. I could have called my husband, and he could have come and got our son, me and the groceries. I decided to eat something and see if raising my blood sugar would hold the Migraine off. So I went through the checkout line and sat in the car eating for a while. I felt less jittery and better right away, and I made the judgment call that the Migraine was not going to hit full force in the 15 minutes it would take to get home. I picked up my son, drove home, and all was well.
Was that the right thing to do? Was I putting convenience ahead of safety? Was I being a hypocrite in light of the articles I just wrote and the position I’ve been taking? We have to make judgment calls every day with this disease. If my head had been hurting, if I was getting dizzy or confused, I would not have driven. I have called for rides, or pulled over to the side of the road in those situations before. I always try to err on the side of caution. Several people have left comments since I wrote the articles, about family members who were badly hurt driving with a Migraine.
All I’m asking is that we take this seriously, that we plan ahead, have a back-up plan, and take ourselves off the roads before we endanger ourselves and others. And I know it’s not fair, that there are lots of morons on the road who shouldn’t be driving, and all of that. It’s a very uncomfortable subject – it challenges our independence. I know. Sorry. I’m not trying to drive you crazy. Please don’t kill the messenger!
– Megan
Rearview mirror image courtesy of Dean Shareski; Steering wheel image courtesy of Tomas Fano.
Tags: driving, DUI, migraine, Migraine medication
Posted in Communicating, Current Affairs, Managing, Travel | Comments (16)
September 28th, 2009
Results of a research study presented at the International Headache Congress in Philadelphia this month show preliminary indications that a diet rich in cocoa may aid in preventing Migraines. Animal studies suggest that cocoa supresses inflammatory responses in the trigeminal nerve, the main nerve involved in Migraine.
There’s some irony here as chocolate is identified as a common Migraine trigger food. This may be because of caffeine or tyramine content, however, rather than cocoa content. I don’t know whether the caffeine or tyramine are present in the cocoa, or in some other ingredient of chocolate. The researchers caution that these are early results. If see benefits in humans as well, maybe they will find a way to isolate the anti-inflammatory parts of the cocoa from any potentially triggering parts.
I would expect to see cocoa supplements or extracts coming down the pike. Since I have the good luck not to be triggered by chocolate (in fact, I get some relief from a Migraine by eating dark chocolate) I am going to start now. Cool weather is here – hot cocoa everyday? Why not! Mole sauce? Yum. I think I can come up with a diet rich in cocoa without too much trouble!
– Megan
Chocolate plate image courtesy of avlxyz/Alpha.
Tags: chocolate, cocoa, International Headache Society, migraine prevention
Posted in Current Affairs, Medicine, Musings | Comments (3)
September 26th, 2009
Diana Lee of Somebody Heal Me will be hosting the October 2009 Headache & Migraine Disease Blog Carnival on the theme “Alternative therapies – your experiences (good or bad), thoughts about trying them or any other take on the subject.” To participate, send your link to a blog post on the topic, new or old, along to Diana, through the form on the carnival website or directly to her by e-mail.
Submissions are due by midnight (the end of the day) on Friday, October 9. This is a great opportunity to gather a number of posts around a topic of interest to many of us. About 6 weeks later Dr. Christina Peterson will be addressing the same topic on the November Managing Life with Migraine Teleconference, so between the two events we should gather a lot of great advice!
– Megan
Tags: alternative therapies, blog carnival, managing life with migraine
Posted in Managing, Medicine, Weblogs | Comments (0)
September 23rd, 2009
I went to a business lunch & learn presentation today, given by a very nice insurance agent, all about health insurance. He covered the history of health insurance, how we got in the mess we’re in today, and some ideas about how to fix it. His intention was to give business owners an idea of some options and choices that exist now. Well, we didn’t really get far into that last part, as so much of the time was taken up with people’s impassioned views on the subject of our health care system. Not surprising in the USA today.
A lot of views were expressed about how people overuse medical care, and doctors over-test and over-prescribe in order to cover their butts against potential liability, how we expect higher standards of care than in the past, how we take too many prescription drugs and don’t emphasize prevention enough. I can get with most of that, as far as it goes. I think health education and healthy lifestyle choices could be much more emphasized. I think the practice of defensive medicine is a real problem. But I don’t think the answer is to turn back the clock and say if you injure your knee you should just live with the limitations for the rest of your life, rather than having rehabilitation available. I don’t think having real effective treatments for conditions that were taken for granted throughout human history is a bad thing. People don’t have to suffer like they did – throughout human history.
It was more than I could do in the short time we were together to really make the case for chronic illness, though I tried. We all need to be responsible for ourselves, and take care of ourselves, and looking to a doctor or a pill to solve everything is not the answer. But many of us do not have the option to go without medical care – we cannot function without it. And the advances in medicine that may be seen as excessive or unnecessary by some are not happening fast enough for us, to help us function.
Many of us with chronic illnesses are living the healthiest lifestyles imaginable. We’ve cut out the unhealthy things that others just think they should cut out. We don’t have a choice because these things make us sick now. One guy said he thought it was crazy that healthy people and sick people should pay the same insurance premiums. This shows the problem with a traditional, for profit insurance risk model – but how can any rational person say that you have to be extremely wealthy to be a sick person? Should I pay twice (or five times) as much for my insurance as you? In other words if I get sick, if I have a genetic predisposition to disease, have an accident, or am just unlucky, I should go broke and end up an the street in order to pay for my care? Or maybe I should just die? A pure for-profit insurance model like this guy was championing, that’s the real death panel. (Choosing who should live or die based on ability to pay. We have that in this country right now!)
I’m responding to things that I couldn’t respond to at the time without completely diverting the conversation. Unlike some wingnuts in town hall meetings around this country, I’m polite enough not to shout people down. Most of the time.
But what really got me was when we started talking about the Canadian model – interestingly, our presenter was a Canadian, living in the US for the last 15 years. He debunked the myth that people wait years for needed surgery in Canada. The same guy whose views I took issue with above said that in Canada the health care is free but the beer is really expensive. He said, “I’d rather have a cheap six-pack than a heart transplant.” Now listen, he was trying to be funny, but come on. Ask anyone on the street if they’d rather have a beer or a heart transplant, and chances are only those who need heart transplants are going to opt for the second choice. Even if you don’t like beer… The point is, that if you need a heart transplant, you should be able to have one without worrying about losing your life savings, or dying without the care you need. And yeah, go on and tax the unhealthy things to pay for the healthcare. Makes sense to me!
– Megan
Hit in the head image courtesy of Pawel Loj.
Tags: chronic illness, health care reform, health insurance
Posted in Advocacy, Current Affairs, Rant | Comments (4)
September 22nd, 2009
Please sign the American Pain Foundation‘s petition to the Food & Drug Administration asking them to educate the public about the dangers of overuse of acetominophen (Tylenol), rather than restricting its use. The FDA is considering banning pain medications such as Lortab, Percocet and Darvocet which contain acetominophen as a second ingredient in combination with a narcotic pain reliever, as well as making extra-strength acetominophen formulations available only by prescription. As the petition states,
When used as recommended, acetaminophen is a safe and effective pain reliever and fever reducer and has been used by millions of Americans for decades. This medicine, like all medicines, has risks when used beyond the recommended amounts.
Acetaminophen: Educate, Do Not Regulate.
The FDA’s proposed regulations are due to concerns about liver damage from overuse of acetominophen. Proper labeling could do away with much of this concern, and avoid leaving pain patients without medications they need to get by on a daily basis. Without proper labeling, it’s easy to overuse the medication even at lower doses. More importantly, people who rely on these medications to get through their daily lives will be left without help.
You can also leave comments directly for the FDA – the comment period ends September 30th.
Please take a few minutes to take action on this important issue!
– Megan
Tags: acetominophen, American Pain Foundation, FDA, pain
Posted in Advocacy, Managing, Medicine | Comments (0)
September 21st, 2009
Hello friends. I’ve been quiet lately. Had a marathon summer with a lot of work and a daughter to get off to college. She is off, settled in, working hard, and having the time of her life. I flew back from three days away, moving her into her dorm, and then I attended the International Headache Congress in Philadelphia for two days, then I spent a lovely day in Manhattan with cousins from the west coast, then I spent a day working, then I went back to Philly for a first appointment at the Jefferson Headache Center, then I collapsed.
I will post about the IHC, and about my appointment at Jefferson, (both of which were great) later. What I want to talk about today is “then I collapsed” part. Well I do have to touch on the appointment at Jefferson… mostly what was discussed was my Migraines and my anxiety level. I was very happy with the care I got, the thoroughness of the history taken, the look at Migraines in the context of a whole life. I have new treatment options and new hope.
It felt like almost a side note to the exam, when the doctor pressed certain points on my body which hurt tremendously. Once he had pressed a half dozen, I realized what he was doing – pressing the fibromyalgia tender points. One of the diagnostic criteria for fibro is pain in at least 11 of the 18 points – well, I had a great deal of pain in 14! He asked me if I feel pain in my body on a daily basis and I said there were days when I’m achy all over, but I’m not aware of much pain in my body much of the time.
But over the next few days I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My 10 day marathon of travel, launching a daughter, conference, appointments, left me bone weary and aching. You know when you first notice something you haven’t seen before, and all of a sudden you see it all around? I had this sense of a puzzle piece clicking into place. Why do I fatigue so easily? For the last few years when I exert myself in any way, whether it’s physical exercise, mental or emotional stress, or just being on the go for a number of days in a row, afterwards my entire body aches. For days. I have become terribly sensitive to touch, where someone bumping into me actually hurts, instead of just being jarring. My husband and I were lying on the bed talking the other day and he had his hand on my calf. His thumb was resting on my shin, and after a few minutes just the weight of that thumb began to actually hurt.
I know people with fibromyalgia, and there are plenty of Migraineurs who also have fibro. I’ve read about it, and I have wondered for some time if I might have fibro too. You’ll see in my profile that I say I have chronic fatigue, but I’ve always had some question about that diagnosis, which was more of a suspicion by my family doctor than a real confirmed diagnosis. Up to this point, though, I have avoided looking into it for myself. I don’t want to face having another chronic illness. I want to live in the illusion that my limitations will go away someday. Ha! Oh well, a girl can dream.
I will investigate this further; I will talk about it at my next headache appointment. I know there are treatment options and support available. It’s kind of silly, really, to prefer denial. Having all the symptoms I have and no name for it really isn’t better than having the symptoms with a name. Knowledge really is power. I hear that the drugs used to treat fibro are really good for treating Migraine too, and many people’s Migraines improve when their fibro is treated. We’ll see. I still kind of want to stick my head back in the sand. Except I know my neck would hurt for days afterwards.
– Megan Oltman
Logan Square fountain image courtesy of Conspiracy of Happiness; shoulder image courtesy of Barbarellaa.
Tags: denial, fatigue, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgia tender points, migraine
Posted in Communicating, Managing, Medicine | Comments (2)
September 16th, 2009
You may know that Cindy McCain came out of the closet as a Migraineur in the past few weeks, revealing her long struggle with the disease, and very controversially likening her suffering to that of a prisoner of war. Whatever you may make of that statement, there is no doubt that this will bring a lot of attention to Migraine disease. A high profile advocate may be just what we need to finally get some recognition for the huge impact of this disease. Cindy McCain gave the keynote address at the International Headache Congress in Philadelphia last week, and Teri Robert got an exclusive interview with her. You can read Teri’s inspiring article here: Interview with Cindy McCain.
– Megan
Tags: migraine advocacy, Migraine and Headache awareness
Posted in Advocacy, Current Affairs | Comments (0)
September 3rd, 2009
Last week Karen Lee Richards of Chronic Pain Connection let us know about a technological advance in medication – the approval of Abuse-Resistant Morphine. The idea is that extended release opioid-containing drugs like Oxycontin have been prone to abuse because they can be crushed, avoiding the time-release built into the capsule and allowing drug-abusers to take in large amounts of the drug at one time.
King Pharmaceuticals has created an extended release opioid, approved by the FDA and marketed as EMBEDA, which also contains Naltrexone, a drug that blocks opioid receptors. If you take the drug as prescribed, no problem, the Naltrexone passes through your system without being released. If, however, the capsule is crushed, the Naltrexone is released and the effect of the opioid is blocked. Very clever! Read more about it in Karen’s excellent article: Abuse-Resistant Morphine Approved.
This is very good news for chronic pain sufferers who must rely on these types of drugs to get by – societal fears of drug abuse, drug seeking in emergency rooms and similar issues have made it harder to live as a person with a chronic pain condition. For those of us who must use an opioid occasionally for Migraine rescue, it’s good news as well.
Now, not to take away from the seriousness of this, because it is really is a great advance, it does make me wonder – What other drugs could they engineer to make them abuse resistant? What about our society’s most prevalent Legal drug – Could we put something in alcohol to make it stop intoxicating people once they approach their legal blood alcohol limit? Just sayin…
– Megan Oltman
Tags: chronic pain, drug abuse, opioids
Posted in Current Affairs, Medicine | Comments (0)
August 27th, 2009
Next week I’ll be launching something exciting here at Free my Brain. Since I started looking for help with my Migraines over five years ago, I’ve been looking for a support group, and hearing about the value of support groups. Since I’ve been hosting the Managing Life with Migraine teleconferences on the last Sunday of every month, participants have been telling me how much they love being on the phone with other Migraineurs. The doctors we’ve had on the teleconferences have spoken about the value of making progress with small manageable goals. People email me all the time asking about a support group – okay – I hear you! I coach Migraineurs in managing the various aspects of their lives needed to see an improvement in their Migraine profile and quality of life. I’ve also led coaching groups for years, and know how a group can help each other to move forward – so…
I will be leading a twice monthly Migraine Support and Coaching Group. A group of up to 12 Migraine and headache sufferers will be getting together by phone (on a secure conference line) twice a month, to exchange support, tips, ideas and encouragement, and receive coaching and training from me to improve your Migraine profile and overall well-being. We will work with your doctor’s recommendations, finding small manageable goals you can take on that will help you make progress. Group members will also get access to daily e-mail coaching from me and two relaxation teleclasses per month, training you to calm you nervous system and make it less vulnerable to Migraine triggers. You will form relationships with other group members, supporting each other in taking the actions you need to take to move forward.
Meeting face to face is wonderful, and if you have the opportunity to do that, good for you. Most people I know who have run face to face support groups find that they are hard to sustain over time. For those of us with Migraine disease and headaches, it is key to simplify our lives and cut down on stressors. Having one more thing to get out to can be difficult. You can be in the Free my Brain Migraine Support and Coaching Group from the comfort of home, on the phone.
Frankly, I can’t wait for this group experience. Here’s what you can expect: your fellow group members will also be pursuing goals in improving their health – and you will learn from them. Group work on relaxation exercises and developing your ability to calm your nervous systems. The supportive structure of actions to take between sessions and a partner to talk to, to keep you in motion. Your coach and the other participants cheering your results and supporting you through the challenges. A place to vent and talk about your pain and challenges with others who support you and really understand, and keep focusing you on moving forward. Come by the Migraine Support and Coaching Group page to register or learn more, or contact me with your questions. I hope you’ll join me!
– Megan
Tags: managing life with migraine, Migraine management, migraine management coaching, migraine support, support group
Posted in Communicating, Managing | Comments (0)
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