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Catching Up

June 3rd, 2009

A poem about talking to others about chronic illness.

Catching Up

What’s going on? (pain in my head and struggle every day)
I write and work, children grow and amaze,
I walk the field when I am able and drink in the richness of the world.
Many days my world narrows to this pain in my head, and my struggle:
I must try – help to keep this family afloat, and I haven’t the stamina
or time free from pain
to stay on my feet more than half the day.

Why haven’t I told you?
I could not bear the disappointment in your eyes,
the well-meant advice and suggestions.
This was never who I set out to be.
I did not say I think I will grow up, yes I,
this talented and brilliant child,
I will grow up to be a sick person.
No, this was not my agenda.

Why have I been out of touch?
I could not bear the hope in your voice,
when I have a good day – that now I will be all better,
I could not bear you rushing to me with your cures for the incurable.
I could not bear your pain for me, mirroring my pain for me.
I could not bear my envy of your life.
I have learned lessons costly in the teaching
and too painful for a Christmas letter.

Hope is with me every day. And fourteen years of worsening health,
more Migraines,
I grow older, the future is uncertain.
I have a sensitive system,
I have fought knowing that I have a sensitive system,
and it has cost me.

Now I try acceptance for a change.

What’s new with you?

- Megan Oltman

Writing pen image courtesy of Toshiyuki IMAI.

Tags: chronic illness, chronic migraine, poetry
Posted in Communicating | Comments (6)

6 Responses to “Catching Up”

1. Twitted by freemybrain Says:
   June 3rd, 2009 at 8:55 am

   [...] This post was Twitted by freemybrain - Real-url.org [...]

2. Diana Lee Says:
   June 5th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

   This is wonderful!

3. admin Says:
   June 6th, 2009 at 8:57 am

   Thanks Diana!
   - Megan

4. Sue Says:
   June 8th, 2009 at 6:06 pm

   Thanks Megan. That’s a great poem. I’ve been working a lot on the acceptance part of this journey. Tough work, but worth the effort.

5. deborah Says:
   June 9th, 2009 at 6:26 am

   very powerful and so true to life. I think I would love for all I know in my life to see this and absorb it; but could they? hmmm….

6. Blog Carnival: Misunderstanding Migraine Says:
   June 12th, 2009 at 9:09 am

   [...] Catching Up - a poem.  Even if you don’t usually read poems, check this one out - lots of great stuff here. [...]

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