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Posts Tagged ‘migraine’

Another Day, another Migraine

November 8th, 2009

Waking with head pain. Hoping it will go away. Have a work obligation – know if I take my triptan I won’t be able to drive. Weighing how much trouble it will cause to miss the meeting. Cup of coffee damping down head pain. Driving off to meeting. Sitting through it with hand pressed to right eye, shifting to shield both eyes from bright overhead lights. Meeting ending. Weighing whether I should drive. Getting home with help. Pain increasing all the way. Nausea beginning. In the door, family brings me food. Take sumatriptan injection. Incredible pain from injection. Unbelievable that I can do that to myself. Counting twenty seconds while holding burning needle in arm. Arm hideously sore to the touch. Initial increase in head pain from injection. Lying down. Breathing. Breathing. 3 in 5 out. Directing breath to head pain. Funny sensation in chest & stomach from sumtriptan. It passes. Pain eases. Lying very still for fear of reawakening it. Exhausted. Day on the bed. Second one in a week. Another day, another Migraine.

- Megan

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Posted in Rant | Comments (3)

Second-Guessing Game

October 1st, 2009

Does this sound at all familiar to you? This is me, talking to me, inside my head:

So I stayed in and didn’t take the triptan – and about 10 my head was pounding and I felt nauseous. At that point I took the triptan, and some anti-nausea meds, and tried to go to sleep. I slept badly, with pain in my head nearly all night. I kept waking and checking the clock to see if 2 hours had gone by so I could take another triptan. Then I slept a bit longer and woke after 2, still in lots of pain, and took the second dose. Slept fitfully and around 5 noticed that the pain had let up a good bit. Woke with the alarm at 7.

So I called the court and told them I was ill and could not come in. I went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later, to this:

I’m not sure they ever shut up, those voices in our heads. But here I am, several hours later, head still hurting, trying to make what I can of the day. Just a Migraineur, intermittently impaired, working around it the best I can.

- Megan

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Posted in Musings | Comments (14)

Migraines & Driving & Driving Migraineurs Crazy

September 30th, 2009

I may have mentioned that lately I have been writing articles for Health Central’s My Migraine Connection on legal topics related to Migraine, as well as answering some of the questions that readers ask on the site. A reader came on recently and reported that her driving privileges had come under supervision by her state’s Motor Vehicle Commission (MVC) because she had self-reported that she had frequent Migraines. The MVC was considering whether to suspend her license. She was asking what to do. This sounded like a nightmare to me; I was really distressed for her, so I did some research. In the first place I discovered, not too surprisingly, that her state’s MVC had broad powers to supervise, suspend, retest or otherwise question the driving of anyone they suspected might have any kind of medical condition that could make them an unsafe driver. Researching further, I learned that just about every state has given similar powers to its MVC.

My suggestion was that she get a statement from her doctor that she knows the signs of a Migraine and does not drive when she has one, and that she consult an attorney. She came back later and reported that her MVC had taken her medical documentation, made her retake the road test, but that they had not suspended or restricted her license.

I did some more research and wrote two articles based on it, one called Migraines and Driving Don’t Mix – reviewing cases which have found people driving under the influence of pain killers (legally prescribed for Migraines) to be DUI, and other cases which found people driving with a Migraine (not with medications) were not DUI. I did stress that Migraines themselves impair us – they slow our reflexes and reaction time, interfere with cognitive function, aura obscures our vision, the pain and nausea distract us. I even went so far as to say I wouldn’t be surprised to see a case somewhere in the future where someone had a Migraine, caused an accident, hurt someone, and was held liable or criminally responsible.

In the second article, called Migraines and Our Drivers License, I reviewed the Motor Vehicle laws which set up medical review of driving privileges, trying to make people aware that we could have our licenses reviewed or suspended if Migraines impact our driving and the MVC finds out about it!

It’s been an interesting few weeks for me on the inter-tubes – I did not make myself very popular with some Migraineurs over all this! One group of readers thought I was being condescending. On one site someone ranted about how if cell-phone talking, lane-changing speeding morons should be allowed to drive, why should Migraineurs be singled out? I was called “militant” and I’m not some people’s favorite person. Several people asked me to tell them how they are supposed to get to work, function, etc…

I think I learned a lesson about my writing style, and I’m going to do my best to be more chatty and down to earth when I’m delivering hard news. I think that’s what this was – a case of kill the messenger. I’m not the Migraines & driving police (or the anything police, for that matter). We’re all going to have to use our own judgment. I just thought it was important for people to know 1) that Migraines impair us, sometimes even when we don’t feel like they do; 2) that people have been convicted of DUI even taking legally prescribed medications; and 3) that right or wrong, our condition is being scrutinized by Motor Vehicle Commissions.

Last night I dropped my son at his music lesson and went to the supermarket. Near the end of my time in the market I was very hungry and jittery, and I started to get sensitive to light, an early warning sign for me of a Migraine coming. My son was across a divided highway from me, needing to be picked up, and I had a week’s worth of groceries in a cart. So I had choices to make. I could have called my husband, and he could have come and got our son, me and the groceries. I decided to eat something and see if raising my blood sugar would hold the Migraine off. So I went through the checkout line and sat in the car eating for a while. I felt less jittery and better right away, and I made the judgment call that the Migraine was not going to hit full force in the 15 minutes it would take to get home. I picked up my son, drove home, and all was well.

Was that the right thing to do? Was I putting convenience ahead of safety? Was I being a hypocrite in light of the articles I just wrote and the position I’ve been taking? We have to make judgment calls every day with this disease. If my head had been hurting, if I was getting dizzy or confused, I would not have driven. I have called for rides, or pulled over to the side of the road in those situations before. I always try to err on the side of caution. Several people have left comments since I wrote the articles, about family members who were badly hurt driving with a Migraine.

All I’m asking is that we take this seriously, that we plan ahead, have a back-up plan, and take ourselves off the roads before we endanger ourselves and others. And I know it’s not fair, that there are lots of morons on the road who shouldn’t be driving, and all of that. It’s a very uncomfortable subject – it challenges our independence. I know. Sorry. I’m not trying to drive you crazy. Please don’t kill the messenger!

- Megan

Rearview mirror image courtesy of Dean Shareski; Steering wheel image courtesy of Tomas Fano.

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Posted in Communicating, Current Affairs, Managing, Travel | Comments (16)

Fatigue, Fibromyalgia & Denial

September 21st, 2009

Hello friends. I’ve been quiet lately. Had a marathon summer with a lot of work and a daughter to get off to college. She is off, settled in, working hard, and having the time of her life. I flew back from three days away, moving her into her dorm, and then I attended the International Headache Congress in Philadelphia for two days, then I spent a lovely day in Manhattan with cousins from the west coast, then I spent a day working, then I went back to Philly for a first appointment at the Jefferson Headache Center, then I collapsed.

I will post about the IHC, and about my appointment at Jefferson, (both of which were great) later. What I want to talk about today is “then I collapsed” part. Well I do have to touch on the appointment at Jefferson… mostly what was discussed was my Migraines and my anxiety level. I was very happy with the care I got, the thoroughness of the history taken, the look at Migraines in the context of a whole life. I have new treatment options and new hope.

It felt like almost a side note to the exam, when the doctor pressed certain points on my body which hurt tremendously.  Once he had pressed a half dozen, I realized what he was doing – pressing the fibromyalgia tender points.  One of the diagnostic criteria for fibro is pain in at least 11 of the 18 points – well, I had a great deal of pain in 14! He asked me if I feel pain in my body on a daily basis and I said there were days when I’m achy all over, but I’m not aware of much pain in my body much of the time.

But over the next few days I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My 10 day marathon of travel, launching a daughter, conference, appointments, left me bone weary and aching. You know when you first notice something you haven’t seen before, and all of a sudden you see it all around? I had this sense of a puzzle piece clicking into place. Why do I fatigue so easily? For the last few years when I exert myself in any way, whether it’s physical exercise, mental or emotional stress, or just being on the go for a number of days in a row, afterwards my entire body aches. For days. I have become terribly sensitive to touch, where someone bumping into me actually hurts, instead of just being jarring.  My husband and I were lying on the bed talking the other day and he had his hand on my calf. His thumb was resting on my shin, and after a few minutes just the weight of that thumb began to actually hurt.

I know people with fibromyalgia, and there are plenty of Migraineurs who also have fibro. I’ve read about it, and I have wondered for some time if I might have fibro too. You’ll see in my profile that I say I have chronic fatigue, but I’ve always had some question about that diagnosis, which was more of a suspicion by my family doctor than a real confirmed diagnosis. Up to this point, though, I have avoided looking into it for myself. I don’t want to face having another chronic illness. I want to live in the illusion that my limitations will go away someday. Ha! Oh well, a girl can dream.

I will investigate this further; I will talk about it at my next headache appointment. I know there are treatment options and support available. It’s kind of silly, really, to prefer denial. Having all the symptoms I have and no name for it really isn’t better than having the symptoms with a name. Knowledge really is power. I hear that the drugs used to treat fibro are really good for treating Migraine too, and many people’s Migraines improve when their fibro is treated. We’ll see. I still kind of want to stick my head back in the sand. Except I know my neck would hurt for days afterwards.

- Megan Oltman

Logan Square fountain image courtesy of Conspiracy of Happiness; shoulder image courtesy of Barbarellaa.

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Posted in Communicating, Managing, Medicine | Comments (2)

Calling all Redheaded Migraineurs

August 9th, 2009

Now I know Migraine occurs in all human cultures, and people of all hair colors as well as all sorts of other characteristics, but I am interested in conducting a very unscientific study here… and certainly interested in knowing if any real studies have been done of this (I don’t know of any).

An article in the New York Times yesterday entitled The Pain of Being a Redhead discussed several studies which indicate that redheads are resistant to anesthesia, take on average 20% more medication to anesthetize (which has been known anecdotally by anesthesiologists for years), and may have a higher sensitivity to pain than the general population.

I shared this link on Facebook and very shortly got comments from 4 redheaded Migraineur friends! Now the comments were all over the place. Most of us agreed that as Migraineurs we deal with so much pain on a regular basis that we think our pain threshhold is higher rather than lower, though several of us have had the experience of being resistant to anesthetic or pain-relieving drugs. But here’s what I’m curious about – is there a high correlation between red hair and Migraine, or was my little flurry of redheaded Migraine buddies just a fluke?

Tara Parker-Pope, the article’s author, states that

a mutation in the MC1R gene results in the production of a substance called pheomelanin that results in red hair and fair skin. The MC1R gene belongs to a family of receptors that include pain receptors in the brain, and as a result, a mutation in the gene appears to influence the body’s sensitivity to pain.

If we redheads have a genetically altered sensitivity to pain, are we more prone to chronic pain conditions? I have no idea – but I do wonder!

- Megan Oltman


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Posted in Medicine, Musings, Science | Comments (7)

Staying out of the Spotlight

July 22nd, 2009

It’s very uncomfortable to suddenly have one’s vulnerabilities become center stage. I had an odd experience this week. I haven’t met many Migraineurs yet who actually want their illness to be center stage. We want to be understood, we want support and empathy and help where we need it, but not generally to be fussed over and be the center of attention because of our disease. At least, that’s my impression of the many many Migraineurs I have met! Do you agree?

A few nights ago I had a parents’ meeting to attend for a program my kids are involved in.  I’m currently on vacation in a conference center, and the space found for the parents’ meeting was the stage of the auditorium, where they had set up a circle of chairs and turned on all the stage lights.  I stepped onto the stage and in every direction there was a spotlight pointed straight into my eyes. I edged my way around for a bit, trying to find some safe angle, but the lights were just everywhere. As often happens in the face of a trigger like that, I got disoriented. I couldn’t figure out whether to stay or go. I can’t imagine what I must have looked like, staggering around the stage. My husband was there and he kind of guided me to a chair, and sat on the floor in front of me.  I bent my head down onto his back, threw the hood of my sweatshirt over my head and eyes and asked if they could turn the lights down. Someone said they were trying to dim the lights.

Now at this point my face was hidden in my husband’s back, I felt dizzy and disoriented, and I didn’t know if my voice was loud or muffled.  I was worrying about how strange I looked. The woman next to me said something sympathetic and handed me a booklet to further shade my eyes. I thanked her and said, “I’m sorry to seem so dramatic, but those lights will trigger me into a Migraine in no time flat.”

Apparently it wasn’t easy to dim the lights because the meeting started with them still on. My kind neighbor called out, “turn out those lights, we have someone with Migraine problems here!” Several people made suggestions about where else I should sit, and I answered, without picking up my head, “No, then the lights from over there are in my eyes.” My voice sounded whiny and desperate to me.  So, they turned out the lights.

This story is not about other people not understanding. I don’t know whether the people in that meeting understood or not. Whether they understoood or not, they were very caring and responsive. The whole meeting sat in the dusk so that I would not have lights in my eyes. This story is about how mortified I felt to have my vulnerability, my weakness, my Achilles heel, my Kryptonite, right up there, center stage, under the spotlights, for everyone to see.

I worried what everyone thought. Did they think I was being dramatic? Were some of the other people there sitting in judgment, annoyed at sitting in the dark, wishing I would just go away? Did I sound as whiny to others as I felt to myself?

Interestingly, I had a chance to talk about the meeting with one of the other parents the next day (it was a very good meeting, by the way), and I made some comment about having made everyone sit in the dark. She looked confused, and then said, “Oh, was it you with the hood over your head?” So obviously, I was not remembered for that! I guess I won’t go down in history here as the drama queen who made them sit in the dark because I SAID the lights would give me a Migraine!

But tell me, why is it so hard to let people see I am less than perfect?

- Megan

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Posted in Communicating, Musings | Comments (8)

Trying to Catch Up when Migraines Interrupt

July 11th, 2009

By the way, it will never happen. The catching up, I mean. We will all die with things on our to-do lists. I am included in this.

I had a mild Migraine yesterday. The good news is that it was mild. I wasted an hour or so at my desk with mild head pain and major brain fog trying to force myself to function. I wasn’t getting anything done, so I went and took my triptan and lay down for awhile. After a couple of hours I was able to think again and the pain was mostly gone, so I went back to work. I had a productive couple of hours, but altogether was only through half of my list for the day. So when the day was really done and I needed to go to bed, I found myself staying on line, tweeting a few more tweets, reading a few more blogs, messing around doing anything but turning out the lights and going to sleep.

Why do I do that? I have such trouble letting go of the day when it doesn’t go the way I want it to. I am aware of the impulse, but yet it’s completely irrational because the hanging round tweeting, keeping myself up, isn’t catching me up or making up for what I lost. Sometimes I wish my Mom was here to tell me to go to bed!

I have a visualization that I do to complete the day when I lie down to sleep. I picture a room, it’s a pleasant sort of office, with a beautiful view (that’s the view from my office, picture that if you want!), and a big desk, lots of drawers and closets. I visualize all the things I was working on in the day, all the things that happened, one by one, as objects or pieces of paper.  A writing project might show up as a piece of paper, a fun conversation I had might be a toy, one by one I review the happenings, projects, and even emotions of the day and picture them in some physical form. And with each one, I find a place to put it away. If there is something I need to remember to do with it tomorrow, I write a note to myself and put it on the desk. I run through this with each and every part of the day until everything is put away, and then I sweep the room and leave. If I’m still awake!

Please visit my new products page for recordings of other visualizations that are specifically for relaxation, pain reduction and reducing Migraine triggerability.

As for me, I have to remember sometimes that I have the tools and pick them up sooner. Completing the day to go to sleep makes a lot of sense. Being complete with the fact that I have been interrupted in the course of the day, and that I won’t get it all done – that’s harder for me. How about you?

- Megan Oltman

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Posted in Managing, Tips & Techniques | Comments (0)

Counting Down to Thunder

May 25th, 2009

In this season of thunderstorms, I am finding my head more and more like a barometer, predicting the electric activity in the atmosphere.  I hope you are enjoying your Memorial Day weekend – mine has had its ups and downs with the weather! I did want to share a poem of mine with you – it won an honorable mention in the Putting our Heads Together Migraine and Headache Poetry Contest this year.

Counting Down to Thunder

Counting down to thunder,
how many miles the storm lurks in the night?
Lightning pierces slumber,
grasp the shattered shards of sleep.

Where the welcome rain?
Where the soothing break in summer’s pain?

Storms without at last pile high upon the storms within -
thunder’s crash inside my skull tore life from many days.
Come tempest wash it clean again.

- Megan

Lightning image courtesy of Ian Boggs.

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Posted in Communicating, Musings | Comments (0)

Great Poetry inspired by Pain

April 28th, 2009

I’m really impressed by the winning poems in this year’s Putting Our Heads Together Migraine and Headache Poetry Contest, over at My Migraine Connection.  I don’t impress that easily when it comes to poetry – these are an exceptionally well written bunch, lyrical, moving, interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes wacky.  I guess it’s only fair to let you know I have an honorable mention in there, but I’m not saying all this to boast.  I’m very happy to be included but I think mine is far from the best.

I’m in the midst of a not very creative Migraine at the moment – some Migraines leave me able to write eloquently and some leave me pretty wordless, you know? I guess it’s a question of which part of my brain the storm is passing over.  I’d love to be able to tell you more about what moves me in these poems, and why, but it’s beyond me right now.  Would you go read some, and come back and share your favorites with me?  I’m particularly fond of the fourth place entry, “Pain Breaks Like Teeth” by Kate Brady, which opens

Pain breaks like teeth into rice cakes all over the floor.  My pieces aren’t swept up because I haven’t cleaned in weeks.

Enjoy!

- Megan

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Posted in Communicating, Weblogs | Comments (0)

April Headache and Migraine Blog Carnival

April 14th, 2009

The April Headache & Migraine Disease Blog Carnival is posted at Somebody Heal Me.  Diana Lee created the carnival to provide headache patients and people who blog about headaches with opportunities to share on topics of interest and importance to us.

This month’s carnival had no set topic and garnered an interesting collection of posts.  There is a lot of good reading here.  Some of my favorites – James of Headache and Migraine News Blog gives us exciting news of a new upcoming Migraine drug.  Rosalind of Working with Chronic Illness makes some really insightful points about how to avoid and deal with errors at work resulting from your illness. Kelly of Fly with Hope has the inspiring idea of writing herself a letter to remind herself of hope when she’s in pain. And Rena of Dealing with Headaches – well, Rena, you know you always make me laugh, but this month I’ve got to say you win the Ewww award!

I don’t want to slight anyone – every entry is worth a read!  Enjoy.

- Megan

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Posted in Weblogs | Comments (0)

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