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Chronically Ill? What Are You Doing for Fun?

September 22nd, 2008

Fun?  Megan, come on, what do you mean fun?  I get up, I take meds, I go to work, I try to make it through the day, I come home in pain and try to do the minimum I can to get by, feeding myself, family, pets, doing laundry, paying the bills, I collapse as soon as I can.

Fun?  Everything I used to do for fun is gone - I can’t… drink, smoke, go out in the sun, exercise, go to rock concerts, go to noisy/smoky bars… fill in the blanks.

Fun?  I can’t afford to have fun.  My money all goes to doctor bills, medications, co-pays, insurance premiums…

Fun?  Look, I can’t have fun when my basic responsibilities aren’t being handled.  I’ll have some fun after I’ve felt well enough to finish the taxes, clean the house, mow the lawn…

Have I covered everything?  Any other objections you can think of?  I want you to know I have lived my life at times inside of every one of those objections.  Who has been my biggest killjoy?  Not Migraine disease, chronic fatigue, sinus infections, nasty bosses, demanding clients or disbelieving relatives, but little old me.  My own biggest Killjoy.

But I am taking a stand for Joy, alive and well.  This is my life.  Now.  Imperfect as it is.  If I wait to
get everything done first and then have fun, two things will happen.  I will never get it all done, and I will never have any fun.

Do I want this on my tombstone:  Got it all done?  By the way, even if I want it, it’s never going to happen.  As fast as I can do something, no, even faster, the more stuff to do gnomes are creating more stuff to do.

And even if I give up on trying to get it all done, I also have to give up that I will have fun when I feel better.  What if I don’t feel better?  Sorry guys, but what if this is as good as it gets?  Don’t stop hoping and working and fighting, but I could die tomorrow.  This is my life.  Now.

So what do you do for fun?

What gets you up in the morning?

What do you look forward to?

Your life is happening now, imperfect as it is.

What restores you, restores your perspective, where is your creativity?

Laugh.  Play.  Laugh some more.

I’m crocheting a granny square scarf.  Kind of silly and retro-60’s but I enjoy it.  I am clearing my front porch little by little preparatory to stripping off the ratty old indoor-outdoor carpeting and painting it. I’m walking in the park every day I feel well enough.  Sharing books to read with my kids & husband.  Taking DVDs out of the library.  Mostly I’m concentrating on finding fun things for when I’m sick or my head hurts, and taking time for fun on the weekends, whether or not we’ve gotten through our house projects agenda.  And making plans with friends and family, not worrying whether we might have to cancel them.  Making them anyway.

- Megan

Tags: chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic illness, creativity, fun, joy, Migraine disease, sinus infection
Posted in Managing | Comments (5)

5 Responses to “Chronically Ill? What Are You Doing for Fun?”

1. Diana Lee Says:
   September 22nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm

   None of the things I do are very cool, but they work for me.

   I love spending time with my dog Maisy and my cat Felix. Taking her for walks helps get me out.

   I love knitting, though I haven’t been doing much of that for the last few weeks.

   I love reading, especially fun chic lit.

   I watch lots of TV shows. Gossip Girl, Project Runway, The Office, 30 Rock, Mad Men and What Not to Wear are some personal faves.

   I also love watching movies. I watch anything I get the chance to see!

2. deborah Says:
   September 22nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm

   keep pushing on that porch! please show pics. good to know you haven’t given up; it is so easy to fall into that little mindset. that’s what we’re all here for.

3. Debbie Says:
   September 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 am

   Megan, you have done it again. You have gotten me thinking that I have been my own killjoy over the past month or so. So, what can I do for fun? This might not seem fun for some, but I like my house clean. It probably will never all be clean at the same time, but parts of it can be clean. I have 2 places that I can say are generally clean most of the time: my bathroom and the kitchen. How do I do this? Get rid of the clutter. It is SO much easier to keep a place clean when there is nothing in my way.

   Now the other kind of fun. I knit, too. Mostly socks, but I am knitting a prayer shawl for my Mom who has Alzheimer’s. Every time I pick it up, I think about what her life and my Dad’s life is like. Praying for someone else, lessens the focus on me. I also rubber stamp and make cards for other people, so when someone I know needs a hug, I am ready with a handmade card.

4. emily Says:
   September 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 pm

   my fun things include (but are not limited to) - spending time with my husband and family, reading, watching movies, baking, and if i feel super good, going for a walk!

5. Christy Says:
   September 24th, 2008 at 10:11 am

   Fun for me is going for a walk, reading, doing a crossword, watching a few tv shows that make me laugh, and, luckily, I love my job most of the time and going to work is fun.

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